the impossible irony

this blog is covered in dust.

Recently I’ve been looping this song while enjoying it so much. Not only the rhythm and melodies were perfectly matched and intriguing, but that the lyrics hit me hard.

 

Gladly, not because I can relate to this song, but feeling how much stress and the sense of effortless from the writer just makes me feel his helplessness and emptiness inside.

Here are the interpretations of mine towards the lyrics.

I took a pill in Ibiza
To show Avicii I was cool
And when I finally got sober, felt 10 years older
But fuck it, it was something to do
I’m living out in LA
I drive a sports car just to prove
I’m a real big baller cause I made a million dollars
And I spend it on girls and shoes

Everybody does drugs to look cool, he tried to fit in to get anybody else’s recognition. It is seemingly the best excuse and justification for him to take drugs. But finally when he says he’s sober, he was worn out by the tiresome and side-effects of drugs. Then, he regretted. Living lavishly and luxuriously without realising if himself really likes this lifestyle, he showed off by wasting the money he made by making music on hookers and shoes.

But you don’t wanna be high like me
Never really knowing why like me
You don’t ever wanna step off that roller coaster and be all alone
You don’t wanna ride the bus like this
Never knowing who to trust like this
You don’t wanna be stuck up on that stage singing
Stuck up on that stage singing
All I know are sad songs, sad songs
Darling, all I know are sad songs, sad songs

This part is the chorus as well as the heaviest punchline. The writer shown his remorse and distress, rejecting himself and painfully warning others not to be like him. Nobody should be like “high” as him, doing drugs and growing greed in fame and luxuries. Roller coaster here can be referred to the exhilaration when he’s enjoying the money and success. Yet, once the money ran out (“stepping out of the roller coaster”), his mind becomes empty and silence again that he has nothing left but himself alone. He is stuck in the karma wheel which he needs money and fame to earn companion, happiness and short-term satisfaction.

The last few lines (“all I know are sad songs”) reminds us that although this song is seemingly conveying uplifting and relaxing beats, it is actually a dark and deep song in disguise. When you’re high listening to it, it’s a party song. But when you really look between the lines and listen carefully, in fact, it is a sad song, sad song.

 

I’m just a singer who already blew his shot
I get along with old timers
Cause my name’s a reminder of a pop song people forgot
And I can’t keep a girl, no
Cause as soon as the sun comes up
I cut ’em all loose and work’s my excuse
But the truth is I can’t open up

He hinted that it’s too late for him to recover what has been done. He cannot go back to the old simple days he had. He also can’t keep any long relationships with any girls and he uses his work as an excuse to get rid of the girl who had a one night stand with him. The truth is, he doesn’t feel comfortable opening up himself to anybody else. He cannot be true to anyone.

I took a plane to my home town
I brought my pride and my guitar
All my friends are all gone but there’s manicured lawns
And the people still think I’m a star
I walked around down town
I met some fans in life I earned
They said tell us how to make it cause we’re getting real impatient
So I looked em in the eye and said

This is the ending of this song before repeating the chores again. It reveals that the singer is so lonely inside that he doesn’t have friends anymore. When he walks in his home town, people notice him for the only reason that he is a singer. His fans come up to ask him about the secrets to his success and say they want to be just like him, at the end, he can just tell them the lines, “But you don’t wanna be high like me, Never really knowing why like me, You don’t ever wanna step off that roller coaster and be all alone,”.


This song expresses the singer’s confusion, anger, and despair. Sarcastically, all the effort he put in, the fame and money he made, turned out to be something that burdens him inside. He devotes all his energy and time to create and entertain, he did make millions of people happy and uplifted, but at the end left himself incomplete and empty.

mike-posner-i-took-a-pill-in-ibiza-2016-billboard-650

 

Screen Shot 2016-08-28 at 9.01.06 pm

if your heart isn’t happy, then nothing matters, no matter how rich, how talented, or how many people sticking around you. You are what matters the most.

there’s no “y” in happiness, there’s just an “i”, you know

then I tell myself, “yes, im a fragile, reliant and immature, i still can’t have a full grasp on my emotions, but NO, i really don’t want to be anything like him”.

p.s. sometimes i do feel the same, maybe after a couple rounds of wins in League of legends or some other reasons, empty empty heh, i hate myself for that

 

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